I've decided to go over my list I made at the end of last april and see wht I have accomplished:

Summer list 
Things I would like to do this summer

1. Read way more...aiming for a book a week
I'm on book 10 and 11 right now. We had a 16 week summer, but for one whole month I was working two jobs so of course I got no reading done then. that leaves 12 weeks of reading. I think I did quite well. And I read some amazing books.
Read white oreleander. Read tuesdays with Morrie. Read a home at the end of the world.

2. See Kelly
I was lucky to see kelly quite a bit this summer (though i never get to see her enough). My trip to moncton was absolutly wonderful, and I'm glad to see that the axe murder puts his axe down everyonce and awhile and gives great hugs.

3. Start doing yoga again, at least three times a week
I failed at this one. I did not do yoga once. well i showed Amy, the little girl I babysit, what yoga was, but pulled a muscle doing so. I realize I still need classes to drive myslef to do yoga. I will start in september again.

4. Rearrange my room
I have not done this either, however I still have 2 weekends before school starts, so this might still happen. I have about 4 framed pictures sitting in my closet just waiting to be put up.

5. Have girls night at least once a month
At least we had one amazing girls night. I do think that is the funnest time I have had all summer. Being in a room where everyone is laughing and sharing was just so great. I think it's possible why we didn't have another one was because we covered everything in that one night.

6. Possibly have a fantasia party for fun
Failed

7. Dance...Retro night here I come baby
i didn't dance as much as I wanted. I think I went the the marquee maybe a total of 3 or 4 times. The best was of course in moncton (dave blades is a great dancer!) and pride day (ben's tatoo is HOT!)

8. Go on a trip
This is my biggest acomplishment. We planned it all on our own and it worked out. I met a new family, one that welcomes me in. I fell in love on planes, trains and subways. We read in bed and were happy because we were beside one another. It was wonderful and I can't wait to do it again.

9. Ride a horse
I didn't get to do this, but Jon did give me a piggyback ride in toronto.

10. Find my style
I've come to conclude that I love the simple. My uniform of pants and a form fitting short sleeve v-neck tee has grown on me. though this summer I did add a few things to my collection that I think make me sparkle.

11. Walk the dog more
when I wrote this I didn'tknow that in two months she would loose her eyesight, and the take the next two months to slowly deterioate because of the tumour invading her brain. however, because she couldn't see, we had to walk her anytime she went out. I spent the most time with her in the last two months, walking around the street, talking and singing to her. Even though she left when I was away, I still have those walks.

"Baby of this night, can only be seen as yours and mine, like a blessing dear."

12. get my nose pierced (this so won't happen)
and it didn't

13. have regular date nights with Kurt
I'm trying to think wheter we did this summer. We went to cora's and cried at movies and girl talked. Moncton and pride day. Though unfortuatley there were weeks apon weeks that we didn't see eachother. Before he goes we will acomplish this

14. Learn how to play pool (I might as well)
I'm too lazy. I played only once since they got the table, and that was with melissa. She won, but I won by default because my boobs are bigger.

15. Go to the beach...I didn't go once last summer
I think I went a total of 6 times... about twice a month. though the beach in the fog is not the funnest way to spend your day. oh well, I did better than last year.

16. Have a dinner party....classy dinner party (ps your invited)
unfortuatly I didn't do any of the next three things on my list. they will have to be transfered to next years.

17. Learn to rollar blade.....again
Not once. *sigh*

18. get started on my thesis
At least I have the details ironed out. I will be starting next wednesday, and since school wouldn't have started by then, technically it is still summer and I might be able to cross this one off my list.

19. Wear dresses...I have a ton but I never wear them
I wore a dress...maybe 5 times. If I'm wearing a dress, and I have no special place to go, it probably means that earlier that day I felt like crap and I'm dressed up and feeling fine now.

20. Plan my adventure to france...by the end of this summer it will be all arranged hopefully
no planning, other than changing plans has happened this summer. things might be on hold for a year or two while I investigate the wonders of further education. It will still happen i hope. who knows, it might change again. at least i signed up for a spoken french class next winter.


So there we go. that was my summer. i was lucky though, I did things that weren't on the list too. Things like geek beers, hawksley, peggy's cove, parades, hedwig, forts and polly pockets.

Here's to summer.

Well I'm back home. I got back at 2 am last night only to find out that they had to put rascal down the night before.

I left and I never came back.

I'm done.
I am letting it go.
Nothing will make me look back down at what once made me disbelieve myself.
I've grieved and now I'm just walking away.
I am no longer affected. I won't let it.
I will not sink further in, but I will raise above.
I will step away.
I have steped away.

good girl

I miss you

"If you hold back on emotions- if you don't allow yourself to go all the way through them- you can never get to being detached, you're too busy being afraid. You're afraid of the pain, you're afraid of the grief. You're afraid of the vulnerability that loving entails.

But by throwing yourself into these emotions, by allowing yourself to dive in, all the way, over your head even, you experience them fully and completely. You know what pain is. You know what love is. You know what grief is. And only then can you say "All right. I have experienced that emotion. I recognize that emotion. Now I need to detach from that emotion for a moment" . . .

"Okay. This is fear. Step away from it, Step away"."

-----Mitch Albom