Am I really talented? I can't write a song. I can't paint. I can't write a story. I do well in school because I work so damn fucking hard at it, not because it comes to me naturally. I mean I know that to do what I do I have to be smart, but it's not like I have this talent for the scientific world. God damnit, I can hardly play the piano anymore because of my weak hands.

I can sing. But is it a talent if no one knows or cares? Does anyone even want to hear me sing other peoples words? Who do I sing for except for myself? Why do I think of perfect audition songs if i'm never going to use them? When was the last time someone told me I had a beautiful voice? I don't remember. I'm not looking for praise or appreciation, i just want to know that someone notices.

I can't study. I keep distracting myself. School has become a place where a sleepwalk from building to building, not even trying to figure out anymore how any of it will apply to my life.

Am I more afraid that people will read my thoughts, or that no one will?