Everyone is still asleep. I think they are ignoring their alarm clocks, hiding from work. I get up all by myself. I don't have a day off today. I'm heading to that big brick building to sit in a room with someone who has been in jail. I'll read him questions about his feelings and drug habits. I'll help him.

I know and understand that most people my age don;t know what the fuck they are doing. I know that we are all asking the same questions over and over.

But it's in my hands. It's right in front of me, and i'm reaching to grasp it so hard, I can reach it so easily. It's not what do I do? but do I do this? I'm putting in the hours, fuck i'm starting my honors thesis a whole half a year early. Am I killing my self for no reason?

All I want to do is go on a trip. I want to go away somewhere new. Maybe somewhere were there is no ocean so I can see how much I will miss it.