I've been reading all day. Why haven't I read these before. I'm tearing through them. If I wasn't going out tonight I would have the first one finished by 11 tonight.

This is what I wanted to do. No not exactly this. Not this romantacied version. But this is what I wanted to do. Where I wanted to be.

and sometimes it makes me sad that I'm not going to anymore.

I don't think I can tell you why I decided to change my mind about it all. I don't even think that I really changed my mind. I just took a different path.

It's a part of me that no one knows and no one understands. I can tell that. No one looks at me and sees that part of me. It's there. It will always be there.

I've given up on it now though. Though it will always hide in the back of my brain.
Helping those who no one wants to help. Understanding those who no one want to understand.

Not how you think though. No sympathy. No empathy. Facination...sometimes.
You understand monsters so you can predict and prevent.

That's how you help. It's the only way.