Today is an interesting day.
I will laugh.
I'll try and keep the prettiest girl from crying too hard.
I'll try and cram in as much time with you as I can before you leave my life for what I can only describe as too long.

I am officially unemployed for this week. Possibly next week too.
I officially have a terrible terrible cold.
I offically spent way too much money yesterday.
I offically had a 75 $ phone bill last month (eek!)

You're cool. I like spending time with you. Let's go bowling.

I'm not working today. they didn't need me. but I need the money! oh well.

Movies and girl talk instead.
Too much money spending.

eek

I like my new job. I'm going to make a lot of money this summer.

If we are going on road trips (or zoo trips)we have to organize them in advance (not spur of the moment) because I'm on call all summer.

I'm off at 3 tomorrow and I'm not on at all on sunday. Call me. Let's do something. I don't want to be stuck at home.

(shopping next week for sure)

My heart was beating so hard in my chest.

I almost wish that I kept it my own little secret, but I was too excited and I blurted it all out the minute I saw anyone.

There is no need for this.
You want me to yell...oh I can yell.


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The birds nest blew away in the rain the other night.
How fitting.

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I only got one of the cupcakes I made. Only one.
I have chocolate cake mix left though. I'm going to eat them all by myself (maybe I'll bring them over to share if you play your cards right).

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I just want a hug. Everyone else gets one.
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*swoon*

I'm making cupcakes and watching the Quentine Tarrintino CSI.
This is the best night ever.

Turns out I don't have to work at the Hospital tomorrow. and since I took the day off at the DReam Home, I don't have anything to do tomorrow. I'm going to be in town in the afternoon to pick up my graduation gown.

I may stop by.

I woke up at 8 this morning. I don't have to work till 12 but I decided that it would be a good idea to get up early and prepare myself for the day.

I have no idea what to expect. I have no idea how the rest of my summer is going to be.

Lately I have had blinding pain coming from my shoulder. The other day it hurt so much I thought I was going to pass out right there and then in the middle of work. I had to grab the wall to steady myself so I wouldn't spill onto the floor.

Last night we went to my sister's musical she directed at John A. It was pretty good. It made me want to sing and be up on stage. Sure people have heard me sing. But that's the stuff I sing the best. That's the stuff my voice was made for. And that's the stuff that I never get to sing.

I've been trying to play the piano more.I think that I'm losing it a little since I haven't had lessons in 4 years and I never have the time to just sit down and play. I need more music though. Maybe when I go to Toronto I will go back to that music store and leave with an armfull of music. Maybe.

Go Buffy.

Here I go. Starting my summer all over again.

I woke up today and it was only 9:30. Right on. I still have 2 and half hours before work.

Then I realized that I have to go to Dartmouth to drop off some paper work. That's a 45 minute drive. Then from there I have to go to work in Bedford. That's a 20 minute drive. Fuck... I also have to finish reading those articles for my new job.

So now I only have half an hour to myself. I'll spend that getting ready for the rest of my day.

I had dreams last night that confused me. I remember feel confused and hurt for the majority of the dream. I'm not going to try and remember them though because...well fuck you really.

Outside my window, a robin is building a nest. I've been watching as it has gone from a single twig to a full nest. I've decided that I'm going use it as a calender for my summer.

"The best day I had all summer was the same day that she finally finished the nest"
"I had the most horrible day the same day that the eggs finaly hatched"
"The day I missed you the most was the same day that they finally learned how to fly"

I'm starting to like wine. This is very exciting. Soon we'll have to move onto reds.

Sweet. I like them sweet.

I looked through the window and it was the only time that a wave of sadness overtook me.

I think that's quite good of me.

There was so much food and I hardly ate anything.

So I got the job at the IWK. I already have a shit load of reading to do even before I start on Thursday. Apparently they say that it is not uncommon when you first work there to get a whack from one of the kids. Next week is going to be the craziest week. So busy. I'll be working two jobs, tutoring, and graduating. My mother has dinners planned up the ying-yang. A turkey dinner and everything (no more hamburgers....Kabobs instead!). I only have one day off and I'm spending it with a bunch of 14 year olds. One of the kids doesn't remember my name (in fact im not sure if any of them know my name) and calles me "Miss Tutor Lady".

I was in a weird hyper mood last night. Maybe it's because at work I say the same thing over and over for 8 hours striaght. "Hello welcome to the dream home" "Just so you know, in the basement you have the chance to win 16 movie passes to Empire Theatres. Make sure you fill out a ballot" "Isn't that master Bedroom to die for" "Would you like your recipt stapled to your ticket stub" "Blah blah blah blah".

This morning I woke up to Mr Dressup singing a song on the television. I had fallen asleep on the couch and I didn't wake up till 6:30 am. No Casey and Finnigan though.

I have to drive into town tonight after work to drop stuff off at my bosses house. I won't get home till 10 or so.

I'm going to go eat omelletts

I got the job.

I walked to my car this morning and the air was still warm from the sun. The ground was wet and the clouds were moving in, but for my walk alone, it was just right.

This is what everymorning should feel like. Like the day is starting over again. Everything has been wiped clean and everything is covered with dew.

My dreams bled together last night. There is no point in writing them down anymore. Apparently I mumble in my sleep.

It was very easy to share a bed with you. We should have regular sleepovers. It's good for me.

When the sun is out and the rain has stopped completley, let's have a mini-road trip and go see lions, bears and zebras.

Everyone is leaving.

I find out tomorrow if I got the job. Like that, all my plans could be changed.

I don't need to drive sarah around tomorrow.
Should I come in after Tutoring? around 12:30
Will there be anything or anyone for me to do/see?

Call me. Anyone.

I'm so frustrated. No I'm more than frustrated. Everyone jumping at me. Yelling at me.
Is it me? Is it you? Is it the mixture of the two of us.
I just want to scream.
Or sit in my car and cry. and I don't cry.

I'm not having a great night. I can't put into words.
Get over it Kaitlin.

On the drive home, or sitting watching TV, I think about what I want to write down, what I want to say. But there are too many ways it can be interpreted. Too many ways it can be streched.

Get over Kaitlin.

Tomorrow is my day off. I'm going to spend it doing things I don't want to do because I have to. I get that. I really do. I have to. But I don't need to want to.

Tomorrow night will help? I dunno. I hope. I don't want to go to bed feeling like this.

I just need a hug.
I won't get one though.

Get over it.

I have tomorrow off.

I';ll be in town from 12:30 till 3:00 and then 4:00 till whenever.

Give me a call...I'm doing NOTHING at all. I have to wait to drive Sarah back home for 3:30 so I'm looking to kill sometime.

It's supposed to be 20 degrees. Let's get Ice cream

Things I'll miss about house-sitting
1. Being in town. It was so nice to have people call me and say comeon down. To have people just drop by, call and say "I'll be there in 15 minutes". Being able to take a taxi home drunk because it's affordable.
2. Not having to check in with others. I want to leave? no problem. I don't have to check if anyone else needs the car, or a ride somewhere, ect ect.
3. I'm forced to cook for myself. When at home, it's easy to let mom always cook. she always has and we are used to it.
4. Extended cable. Buffy and Dawson garunteered.
5. Dinner parties and movie nights that I get to host. My house is too far away and no one ever comes over.
6. PussPuss. I swear that cat is like a dog. I want to steal it and keep it for myself.

Things I will not miss about housesitting.
1. I'm very particular about my shower. I hate having to spend 5 minutes playing with the water temperature when you get in a new shower you have never used. For two weeks it was either freezing cold or scalding hot. And since the toilet randomly runs, even when you do get the temperture right, you end up getting scalded every 2 minutes or so.
2. Washing dishes! they pile up so fast. I'm glad to have my dishwasher back.
3. Spending all my money. once i mmove out in september I'll be poor like all students. I'll enjoy the four months of not having to buy groceries before I move out.
4. Cats sleeping on my head and waking me up at 5 am EVERY morning.
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Today's my day off. The dream home opened yesterday and it was insane. I have no car and I'm traped at home. I might have it tonight so people should do something, or I'll cry.

I slept about 13 hours last night. I haven't slept that long in a long time. I think my body is trying to recuperate from this sickness that has been plaguing me all week.

I had weird dreams last night. Mr. Noodles right before bed will do that.

I'm going to go post somepictures (RITA!) and eat some chocolate.

I woke up this morning and I have no voice. It hurts to talk. God damn cough/cold. I coughed through the whole night, hence my current condition. I have to go and have an interview and I sound like I'm dying.

however, by some miricle, the huge sunburn I acquired yesterday is disapearing already. Body butter ladies and gentleman. Works like a charm.

Tonight is Batman night. I've been waiting for this for months.

Well considering the shape I'm in this morning, I'm glad that I didn't go out last night. However this does mean that I have to go out a lot next week to make up for it. Melissa? what is going on for your birthday. I recall someone mentioning retro night at reflextion.

Mom is booking the tickets today. I'll be there in 7 weeks. You'll have me for 9 whole days.

All I need now is a giant floppy hat and I'm ready to go.

It's my first day of work and I officially am sick.
I voice is so hoarse that it sound like I have been smoking 3 packs of cigaretts for the last 20 years of my life.

The computer still hates me, and I hate it in return.

I'm working a total of about 14 hours today. It's going ot be a long fucking day. At least I'm working bar and not having to watch that goddamn show again.

I'll see y'all tomorrow. I'm glad we are going out. Otherwise I'd be asleep on your couch (unlke somepeople I can't fall asleep in the middle of a crowded bar with music being blared in my direction).

I still have a lasgna left. I guess I'll make it friday or saturday night.

Anyone want to help (it's small! 4 pieces tops)?

Everything is so frustrating now.
I'm locked out of my email account. I'm locked out of the forum.
what the fuck is going on?
Jon will you check both for me and see if you can log in. Maybe it is just this computer.

I have to get up in six hours to tutor. Then I have to run around town like a chicken with it's head cut off. Deadlines to meet, people to see, ect ect.

I can't express it. I just can't. I try to put it into words and it just keeps me up at night.

My throat is swollen. I think I'm gettng sick. Perfect way to start a new job.

The taxi on the way home smelled like perfume. In the front window were about 20 smiley face stress balls, each a different color of the rainbow. I pretended that I was going home to my home and not this strange house. I pretended that in a week I wouldn't once again be stuck. Stuck with a car, stuck at home. Just stuck.

I only had a little scream at JAWS. The shark itself never really scared me. I mean it's name was Bruce. That's my dad's name.

you and I both love
What you and I spoke of
and others just read of
if you could see me now
well then I'm finally out of words

It's so beautiful out today, and I have nothing to do. I suppose I could clean up the house (I worked all day yesterday so the house is still in disarray from BuffyCon 2005), but that seems like a waste of such a gorgeous day. All the activities that are on my to-do list involve being indoors, which I'm not too fond of right now.

Job situations are fustrating and confusing. I just quit a job for a job I might not keep because of a job I don't have yet.

I have two day left of being completely free. No commitments and no plans. Let's do something.

I'm going ot go buy some pants.

I can say that I had a wonderful day today.
I bought a shit load of stuff for very little money.
People ate the food I made.
I ate a shit load of food.
I watched 10 episodes of Buffy. I could have gone for more but I'm not sure the others would have made it.
It was fun.


I'm trying to stop. I really am. I mean I'm done school, I have a job and I have even more job prospects. There is really no reason to complain at all. It's just hard to stop, I've been doing it for so long.

Some times you convince yourself of something and it is hard to break away.

Whatever right? whatever