I could never live on my own. The noises alone would scare me. The noises in the middle of the night that keep you awake. Is that coming from my apartement or the one next door? Is that the radiator creaking or is someone creeping down the hall? At least when there is someone laying next to you they can reasure you that it's really nothing (or join you in your silly fears.

One time when I was house sitting there was this terrible rainstorm. I lay in bed at three in the morning and listened to the rain outside. The way the rain was rushing through the gutters and hitting the side of the house made it sound like someone was walking up the stairs to my room. I listened and listened, and that's all I heard. Someone was slowly climbing the stairs.

However after listening for half and hour or so I decided that no one would be walking up and down the stairs for 30 minutes straight, and then finally went to bed.

I always avoid these. But Bianca's post got me reminicing and I came across one that actually wasn't totally stupid
I'm bored...so here we go

1. What did you do in 2004 that you'd never done before?(top 3)
- Marched in a parade
- Played golf
- Been depressed

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I am strongly against any kind of New Years' resolutions and I vow never to make one

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
- No births

4. Did anyone close to you die?
- My puppy

5. What countries did you visit?
- Canada.

6. What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004?
Relaxation. I need to take up Yoga again. This whole year was way too stressful

7. What dates from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
-Girls night. Funnest I had all year
-November 19. Just what I needed. Got me back on the sane train.
-Oct 23. That dream. I can't forget that dream

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
- Helping with thearpy group sessions at Parole and NS

9. What was your biggest failure?
- Car crashes. Not managing time well and creating my own stress. Self destructivness

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
- I couldn't swallow for 12 hours and had to go the emergency room. In the last year I have two biopsys that thank god have turned out negative. All and all it has been a good year.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
-New winter coat

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
- I am so proud of so many, but especially Melissa, Kathryn and Kelly. All three of you have shown the world that you are strong capable women. You deserve all the happiness that is coming to you...and cake.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
This year is probably the first year that someone had deeply upset me, but I have risen above it and I am beyond it now. That's all I have to say about that.

14. Where did most of your money go?
- GAS. and my trip to Ontario this summer.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
- Urine Town! Snowball (it was the first time I had that much fun in months). Getting to sing for people

16. What song will always remind you of 2004?
- Ain't no prophet.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a)happier or sadder? sadder, but less confused
b) thinner or fatter? fatter :)
c) richer or poorer? I think I'm about the same. I'm good at saving money.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
I wish I had gone out more. Had more fun. Danced so much more.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Sitting infront of a computer and doing nothing

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
I will be at home partaking in all the family christmas tradtions and sharing them with whoever will let me

21. Did you fall in love in 2004?
I was already in love.

22. How many one-night stands?
*smirk* This is one of those silly stupid survey questions I hate that are in all other surveys.

23. What was your favorite TV program?
LOST!!!!

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Nothing has changed, just things are more clear now.

25. What was the best book you read?
"White Orleander" and "A Home at the end of the World"

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Gavin Degraw

27. What did you want and get?
I'm gonna go with material things here. New winter boots and coat

28. What did you want and not get?
A new camera :(

29. What was your favorite film of this year?
Garden State and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I had a birthday dinner as always with the family. I'm legal all over the world now.

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
If I had decided not to do my honour thesis and started gearing up for what I really want to do instead. And more dancing.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004?
Uniform. Solid color shirt and jeans.

33. What kept you sane?
Nothing. I went insane for a little bit there. I'm back now though

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Zach Braff (He has a blog!)

35. What political issue stirred you the most?
I stay away from politics.

36. Who did you miss?
KELLY!!!!!! soooooooooo much!

37. Who was the best new person you met?
Kathryn. I've known her since grade 10 but this year is the first year that I think we really got to know eachother. I like her. ~swoon~

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004:
So this is greif. So this is saddness. Okay I've felt what that is like now. It is time to move on now.

So after I finally handed in my last paper, my week started off really well. I was in the best mood I had been in weeks. I felt happy. I got to go on dates with my boy. I got to go shopping with my gay boy. I had nothing to complain about.

but Fuck I had a bad day. Let's just leave it at that (most know anyways)

Though people were good to me, making sure I didn't stress over it all too much. It happened, there is nothing I can do about it now. I think watching an hour and a half of the shitest TV with Iain helped. Laughing always helped. Dancing and friends definately was nice. And seeing Ghandi Andy!

Tomorrow will be christmas. We will dig up all the old tradtions. The tree, the friends, decorating Gilles, christmas "stew", pigging out on quality street, hanging the ornaments at the bottom of the tree peggy and rascal, cursing and swearing putting the tree into the stand and then when trying to get the god-damn lights on, taking out the decorations and remember where they come from and what they mean. Tomorrow will be the beginning of the christmas holiday.

Then going out? we shall see. I hope. Dancing too.

It's 1:30 am. I finally finished the last paper I have to write all term.

It is 8 hours late (if he accepts it by email). I have no idea if I will be penalized because it is handing it in late. I don't even know if he will accept it. I hope he does.

I'm offically done. Only fun for the next three weeks okay? I promise I won't complain (as much).

Well I'm gonna go sleep. I have to be up in 5 hours to go play with little kids all day.

Well today I will rr-urn my title of metal mouth. I will be wearing the almight retainers once again. These things make me look (even more) ridicoulsy young. Every where I go people are going to think I'm fourteen.

Looks like in January I will be tutoring Jurnior high kids. I'm a little worried. I haven't done that kind of school work in so long. Not that it will be hard to relearn some of that stuff, I just might not be able to help them right off the bat. Also I have a tendency to be confusing when I explain things.
That's what I'm doing this for I suppose. Practice. I'll have lots. I will be volunteering twice a week starting in January. At the Jurnior high and at the IWK. Luckly school is going to slow down big time next term.

You know... I only have my honours thesis and I have to get a minimum grade of A- so that I can get my forensic certificate.

You know what I enjoy most about writing a paper about Beethoven?

He wasn't a pedophile.

I had been taking a nap on the couch in the living room. I decided that it was time to finally get up and start studying. I opened my eyes and I streched out my legs and arms.

Then the pain began. I have only had a Charlie horse once in my life before this. But the first time I had it I was half asleep so I didn't feel the full effect of it. Oh my god it is painful. It felt like the muscles were being torn right off my leg.

It has been 3 days now and I'm still limping. Anytime I move my leg I get this sharp pain in my calf.

Damn!

I'm almost all done. I just have one paper left and then I'm free till january. However I haven't started the research for the paper. And it's a lot of research. I have to read lots of books. I so used to have just articles to read (mind you about 50 articles...but still just articles). So I have 5 days to do all the research and then churn out a 10 page paper.

I've done more in less time in the last few weeks

On a different note, I am begining to volunteer at the hospital starting next week. I'm quite excited about it. I get to help little kids do their homework. Did you know there was a school (kinda) above the ViaRail station? Me neither.

Alright, I'm gonna get back to reading
(actually first I'm gonna have lunch. Tomatoe soup with grated cheese....hmmmm)

Mom made this chocolate thing with broken candy cane pieces.

I can't stop eating it. I've probably eaten the equivalence of 6 or 7 chocolate bars and at least 10 candy canes. It's sooo good

So....I really didn't study for my exam. I've got pretty much all day tomorrow I guess.
I needed tonight. Relaxing. Quiet.

I loved the short visit.

I've hit over 2000. In only two months. Not too bad. It's nice to know that people actually like me and want to know what is going on with me. It;s also nice to know that other people are just as obsessed with the blog thing as I am.

So it's 1am
my take home exam (worth 20% of my mark) is finally done
My paper (worth another 35% of my mark) is half done. ouch
My exam tomorrow (Worth ANOTHER 15% of my mark) had not been studied for.

9 1/2 hours left. I need somekind of sleep in there other wise it won't be safe for me to get behind the wheel of a car.

This paper will get done.
The studying won't.

At least I got brownies and ice cream

This suck so very much.

One more week. That's it. One more week.


UPDATE: It is now 5 am. I took a little nap. I'm fucked.
Two hours left.
I'm a little sleepy and incoherent.
Have to continue you on

Screwed

I had strange dreams last night. It seems that I can remember my dreams best on friday nights. It's like because it's the end of the week my brain knows that I finally have the time to pay attention. I spend the night in a deep sleep, jumping from familiar places to strange unknowns.

I of course had the regular continuation of the evening dream. The dream were it seems like it you never went to sleep and you are just continuing on with your previous day. then of course you begin to see that things aren't quite normal and then your damn subconcious shows up, screwing things all around. You mix images around in your head. Nothing makes sense anymore but it all feels so real. And there is an underlying theme to it all that leaves you scratching your head when you wake up. and of course you wake up just at the moment when you are just begining to gain some sory of insight.

Then I had a dream about an Andrew Lyod Webber musical about Sharks. That's right, a musical (on stage mind you) about sharks. The sharks were played by actors (not actual sharks) and the entire show was set in a giant swimming pool on stage. Our hero turned bad-guy was a great white shark. I don't remeber much, but I remeber battles (almost like water ballets) between the shark and other sea animals. Then at some point the shark had to fight his true love who was Blue whale (played by Liv Tyler!). It ended with her drowning herself at the bottom of the pool because it was usuless trying to fight against the one she loved. Though some how at the end of the play she came back to life. I don't know.The dream ended with me telling some little kid that Pixar was making it into an animated film.

What? Did I eat something strange before I went to bed? Good God! that was strange.

I also had a dream with talking kittens, but that's all I remember.

It's not my style to lay it on the line
But you don't leave me with a choice it's time
-Just Friends, Gavin Degraw

so much to do
so little time

but I'm almost done.
Then I have the whole fucking world in my hands.
Also I hardly work at all. I think I have 7 shift tops the entire month of December. Not very good for chirstmas money, but good for free time.

So here is the deal....we are going to do a lot over break. We are going to go out dancing, we are ging to go see bands, we are going to go see movies (Jonny Depp anyone?), we are going to have a dinner party, we are going to have a christmas party even. We are going to have a girls night.

We are going to rock around the fucking christmas tree.

Oh and kelly! are you still planning on going up to cape breton? If you are when? can I hitch a ride maybe?

Agenda for today: Stats homework (it's only a week later), sociology paper, work. Rember to fit in eating in there somewhere.