One day, a priest decides to take a walk to the pier near his church. He looks around and finally stops to watch a fisherman load his boat. The fisherman notices, and asks the priest if he would like to join him for a couple of hours. The priest agrees. The fisherman asks if the priest has ever fished before; the priest says no. He baits the hook for him and says, "Give it a shot, father."

After a few minutes, the priest hooks a big fish and struggles to get it in the boat. The fisherman says, "Whoa, what a big sonofabitch!"

The priest says, "Ah, please sir, can you mind your language?"

The fisherman responds (thinking quickly), "I'm sorry father, but that's what this fish is called---a sonofabitch!"

"Oh, I'm sorry," says the priest. "I didn't know."

After the trip, the priest brings the fish to the church and spots the bishop. "Eminence, look at this big sonofabitch!"

"Please father," says the bishop. "Mind your language, this is a house of God."

"No, you don't understand," says the priest. "That's what this fish is called, and I caught it. I caught this sonofabitch!"

"Hmmm," says the bishop. "You know, I could clean this sonofabitch and we could have it for dinner."

So the bishop takes the fish and cleans it, and brings it to Mother Superior at the convent.

"Mother Superior, could you cook this sonofabitch for our dinner tonight with the Pope?"

"My lord, what language!" says the mother.

"No, sister," says the bishop. "That's what the fish is called---a sonofabitch! Father caught it, I cleaned it, and we'd like you to cook it"

"Hmmm," replies Mother Superior. "Yes, I'll cook that sonofabitch tonight."

While the Pope is over for dinner that evening he remarks that the fish is superb. He asks where they got it.

"I caught the sonofabitch!" says the priest.

"And I cleaned the sonofabitch!" says the bishop.

"And I cooked the sonofabitch!" says Mother Superior.

The Pope stares at them for a minute with a steely gaze, but then takes off his hat, puts his feet up on the table, and says, "You know, you fuckers are all right.".

I'm sorry for the person I've become. This ball of nerves. This walking stress magnet. This self destructive little bitch. I bring half of this on myself.

I'm so crazy. I'm not thinking straigt. You'd be better off if you just stay away for the time being. I'll come get you when I'm done.

This isn't fun at all.

You'll get it done.

Don't panic.

I am slowly going crazy
1-2-3-4-5-6 Switch

Crazy going slowly am I
6-5-4-3-2-1 Switch

Some one save me

I woke up last night in a panic. I was able to calm myslef down through computer pinball and solitaire. I woke up eary this morning and ate birthday cake. The next two weeks are going ot be so crazy. I don't think anyone will see me much. Though I promise that any plans any one makes after Dec. 8th, I'll be there with bells on. No saying "I'm too tired" or "I'm not in the mood". I promise that I will always be in the mood for what ever is up.

Trying so hard to stay out of trouble. At least for the next few weeks.
School has created enough for me.

There is something wrong with my apetite. I only eat about half of any of my meals before my body tells me to STOP eating. I'm not sure if it is stress or something still wrong with my stomach.

Oh the things I could tell you.

I suck.

60 bucks. I'm so lame

grrrrr.

I think it's time to completlyy bull shit a presentation that is worth 15% of my term this morning.

Yes. That sounds like great fun!

I get it. I'll just shut my mouth from now on. Other than the occasional mutterence of "fuck' inder my breath, you won't hear from me anymore. It makes me unattractive. It's bringing things down.

I can't help but wonder. It keeps me up. i have to accept though that I will never know. I can be certain of that.

I think I'm looking to shake things up.
Shake me up baby.

that's it. I'm done. no one is asking so no one wants to know.

I had fun this last week.
See you December 13.

Figuring things out doesn't work if nothing it there.

Dont worry, I'll get over it. Eventually.

I was going to reflect upon the last year of my life, but I decided that it would be too long and too boring. Instead I decided to thank those who have in my social circle in the last month or so who have helped my keep things together in my "stress" period.

Kathryn: Thank you for the girl talk. I can't tell you how much this has been essential in keeping me sane. You are by far one of the best distractions from writting my honours thesis. I also enjoy the *swooning* sessions we have been having lately (oh! that sounds so dirty). You're a very good friend.

Jon:Thank you for the hugs and letting me lay in bed all day even though I should be doing school work. Thank you for letting me bug you at work and using you as one of my many distractions. Thank you for putting up with all my crazyness. I heart your face.

Kelly:Thank you for phone calls. Thank you for taking my side. Things always seem more clear after a talk with you. You see things in me that no one else sees and that's wonderful. I miss you soooo much.

Kurt: Even though you don't read this and I haven't seen you in months, Thank you for making me laugh and dance. oh! and making out! and inside jokes. Let's go get your haircut and have brunch at Cora's

Melissa: Thank you for making me feel girly (again, this sounds so dirty). It is very nice to feel part of a group of girls, and it makes me smile that you are one of them. It is so lovely to see you laugh and smile.

Susa: Thank you for telling me to calm down and not take school so seriously. It does put things in perspective. We miss you. Geek beers aren't the same with out you.

Curtis: Thank you for singing the Katie song. Thank you for always sounding concerned and telling me I'll do great (even when you don't know exactly at what). Thank you for getting me blankets at 3 in the morning and lending me a "nightee".

Andrew: Thank you for entertaining the boy when I'm too busy with school to entertain him myself. Thank you for smiles and always wanting to know what I am up to.

Iain: Thank you for dragging us out of that damn building every once and awhile. Most of all thanks for laughs,stories and keeping it light. Thanks for letting me crash your lunch dates with Jon everyonce and awhile too.

Ron & Mike: Thank you for taking care of Kathryn when things were down. Mike, you are always good for funny story, and by the way I love your blog. Ron, thanks for the big smile I get everytime I glance your way and letting me pick on you even when you are sick.

Ben: Thanks for being just as stressed as I am. Thank you for the tea offers, I will take you up on that soon as things settle down a little bit. Thanks for being a creeple.

Sean: I think you know what I'm thankful about you. Candy, spinning, dancing and pictures. But most of all thank you for always trying to put a smile on my face everytime you see me.

There we go. I'm not trying to be mushy, just our little gatherings have been what I have needed so very much in the last little while.

I think a good time was had by all.
I'm glad the mixture of curry pasta and fish didn't upset my stomach too much.

I danced so much I think I wrenched my back.
Jump around.

Best birthday party ever.

I'm almost there. Then I don't have to worry about this goddamn thesis untill Janurary. Plus I got a week extentions on one of my papers which means that I don't have to give up sleep any time soon just so I can get all my work done.

One more paragraph. Then off to the print center.

Last night I got all my dress up stuff ready. I look pretty in my dress. I'm excited about tonight.

Everyone will dance with me. It is the only way.

God God...what am I going to do. I have no idea what I am doing.

I am a musical person. I know I have rhthym because I can sing and play the piano. I can tap my foot or sway my hips to the beat of a song.

Then why does dancing usually feel so unnatural to me?

When I watch others dance,wether they are trained or are just dancing to a band in a bar, it all looks so natural to me. It's liek it is an unconscious process where they just hear the music and they are compleded to move. The music flows through their body and makes them dance. There is no thought, just movement and music.

Sometimes I dance I don't feel this. Every movement is calculated. Nothing seems to flow through me at all. It's as if I am trying to match an ideal that I don't quite have a grasp on. What should I do with my arms? Am I making a funny face? Am I doing it right. Sometimes I feel like a fraud that will eventually get caught, laughed of the dance floor. She's not doing it right. She's not really dancing.

After awhile though I decided to try and shed my dancing insecurities. Even though it still feels very mechanical times, I know that no one really cares. Maybe I have a misconception of what dancing really is. Maybe it isn't a natural process, at least not for some of us.

Then there are nights like last night. Things just seemed to fit. I danced and danced and I couldn't have danced more. I just closed my eyes and didn't think about what I was doing. I was in a crowded bar and I just danced. I didn't stop moving. I felt so good. Was I overcome by the music? No. Did I have fun? Yes, very much so. What was different? Was it the band? Was it the crowd? Was it the anotomity of being in a room of strangers? Probably not. All I know was that I needed it. I could tell as I shook my hips that it was exactly what I needed right there and then. Eyes closed, dancing.

Thank you Iain. That was a really good idea. I have been looking for that kind of fun for awhile now. It was exactly what I needed.

Well this has to be the worst 48 hours I have ever had.
I don't anything could put me in a good mood.
I just want to go home and sleep sleep sleep.

I like to buy things when I feel like crap. Getting myself presents to make myself feel better. I am very aware of this part of my personality so I try to make sure I don't put myself in a situation when I can't buy things when I feel bad.

Apon realizing that she was ditching the last meeting we had before my thesis (a meeting that was very necessary) my first thought was that I needed to go buy jewllery for the snowball on monday.

Someone take me in tonight please so that I can go out.

Rain falls hard
Burns dry
A dream
Or a song
That hits you so hard
Filling you up
And suddenly gone
-Midnight Radio, Hedwig and the Angry Inch

Number of hours I couldn't swallow anything: 8
Number of hours I went without any food or water: 20
Number of hours spent in the emergency room: 13
Number of crazies I met in the ER: 2
Number of doctors I saw : 4
Number of needles/IV's I had : 4
Number of botched IV's : 1
Number of gigantic bruises on my arms because of needles: 1
Number of minutes it took sedation to kick in: 8
Number of minutes they waited to stick a giant scope down my throat after I was given sedation : 2 (fuckers(
Number of hours in a row I was awake for:31
Nunmber of hours I slept once I finally got home: 13
Number of hours I got of school work done: 0

First experience with Valium : Priceless.

there are things about school that I like. I'm a school geek. I get excited over new highliters and bran new pads of paper.

"Look at this note pad I bought! I can take so many notes!"

I just don't like the school work part of school.




Sometimes I wish that life were a musical. Then I could sing away my problems and no one would be the wiser.

Even though I didn't get my Stats homework done, laying in bed watching TV with you last night was just what I needed.

hmmmmmmmmm*

Just when you think it's done a wave decends over you.

Fuck Fuck.

My body is panicking. My heart is pounding, my breath is quickening.

Why do I do this? why?

opposites opposites


I'll be fine in a hour

I was walking around campus today thinking about my new radioactive template changes and I asked myself the question why am I writting in a blog anyways. Unlike some people, mine is not full of interesting facts, political commentary and hilarious stories. It is just either a daily update of my activties and complaints, or some form of cryptic secret message that only I know what it means (no it's not about you Kathryn!)

Am I writing this for myself or am I writting it for others. Intially it was for myself...I think. Though I look at it now and it is more often is written in the form of me telling you what I did that day, like a daily activity log.

Obviously from the number of posts I have a day you can tell that I enjoy writting here. I'm not a great writter. Sometimes it is just nice to get things out in the open. It's a way to deal with it. However I will admit that a lot is missing. You may think that I'm onl stressed about school, that I'm a work-acholic that only cares about school. Far from the truth. Much is hidden. Secreat codes. I'm not telling you this to try and figure me out, just to know that don't base your idea of who I am on these words. You want to know who I am....ask me a question. I like talking. I talk a lot.

However when you are writing for yourself, there is somekind of comfort in knowing that someone is reading. That someone knows a least a tiny corner of the puzzle. I find myself being disapointed when a find a long string of posts without any comments, and very excited when one finally comes along.

What is the point of the post? I'm not sure. Just thinking about it I guess

I'm a mother fuckin' thesis writing machine!





*1 page + edits to go.....I'm pumped!*

My life is rated PG-13.
What is your life rated?

Decided to make a list of all the good things right now

Things that I love:

My family laughing in the dark, wrapped up in blankets
Making new friends...finally
Girl talk with Kathryn
Laughing so hard
Geek Beers
Instant Messages
Pictures
Seeing Kurt for thr first time in weeks
That people are going to the snowball
Excitment for my birthday
Talking to my sister in bed early in the morning
My new winter coat
Playing pool with Melissa
Sean and his candy
Lucnh with the CS boys
Phonecalls with Kelly
Excitement for Jon in a suit
getting ready
Visits/distractions while I'm working
Haircuts
Compliments
My dreams
Dancing

*nervous laughter* .....

for lending me her headphones. Hopefully they will help with the 71/2 hours I have to spend around campus today. Classes done at 11:30, pick sarah up at 6:30!!! Actually I will probably get a good deal of work done. It's the 4 to 6:30 strech that is the hardest. No one around the building anymore. It's a tad boring, and by then I have doing school work for 5 hours or so so I'm not in the mood for anthing. This is often nap time. Scary thing about taking a nap in the CS building is that it is not odd to wake up and someone is sitting opposite of you staring at you sleep. Nonono, that's not creepy at all....go ahead....

I have to go shoe shopping this week for the SnowBall. I hate shoe shopping, but I doubt that my sexy little black dress will look good with skate shoes or with my winter boots.

i need more music.

Does anyone notice that when I have work due that number of my blog entries seems to sky rocket.

*sigh* I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know what I would do.

I've been really tryin, baby
Tryin to hold back these feelings for so long
And if you feel, like I feel baby
Come on, oh come on,

Let's get it on


looks like music may be a distraction too. :)

almost 16 hours with no power. That's no power, no heat and no water. Peachy. we were prepared to head into the city and crash ,where we could be atleast a little warm, when the power finally came on. At least I didn't go out last night and get stuck anywhere. I was glad to be at home for once during a power outage.

You can imagine how much of my proposal I've got done. That's right. Not a lot.

Also we have wires that have come off the house and are laying in the driveway. However they seem to be mystery wires since we have power, telephone and cable at the moment.

I was so cold all day. I was eandering around the house drapped in blankets. I was very attractive.

Tonight is going to full of staring blankly at the computer screen and try to resist pulling out my hair out of frustration.

I'm going to go have some guacamole.

I listen to the notes played usually. The words are a secondary thought. Usually. Though the ones that I choose to sing, the ones I choose to use my voice for, there is something than just more than a melody. Listen to the words. Listen to songs. I am telling a story. I'm not quite sure what it is yet but it's a story.

I wish I could have sang last night

Won't you call my number
don't push back don't hesitate
wake me from this slumber
rush me but leave time to wait

checkmate on my shoulder
I'm tired of this win or lose
well I'm no knight in shining armor
but I'm no pair of dancin' shoes
I'm no pair of dancin' shoes

my patience went away
take me with you
you keep me holding on
nothing's understood
you're so confusing
tell it to me straight
-Dancing shoes, Gavin Degraw

I'm going for a walk to try and work through things in my head and sing in the woods.

I'm not a fan of snow. Sure when I look out my window it is really pretty. Sure if we all got together and had a good old fashion play in the snow I would probably have a good time.

But I hate the cold. I'm a tiny tiny (apparently fragile) little girl. I'm always cold, so when temperatures drop below zero I'm not a happy girl.

but it is pretty. we've got at least half a foot out there already.

For the most part I had a good time last night. Had some good laughs when inappropriate things were said. Played pool and actually hit AND sunk some balls. That's right am I a pool champion. I guess when people are around the graywood doesn't suck as hard as I thought it originally did.

It looks like cape breton is off. The boy is still heading down but I'm not. Not much point when I wouldn't get there till the 26th and they would leave on the 28th. Oh well. I was kinda looking forward to it too.

Also, I have decided that Nov 22 will now be my official birthday bash. That's right, the "Snow Ball" is now a giant birthday party just for me. Come and celebrate with me. Dance up a storm with me...or if you don't dance....umm....well you can just watch me dance. yes.....


okay I just got a little excited about the snow. There will be snow for the snow ball. How fitting.

Alright I'm off to do work, get my stupid thesies proposal done with for once and for all. Then I plan to spend the evening, well I have no plans for the evening. grrrrr. Give me a call if yer doing anything. please.

Oh! one more thing to add to the below list.

• I complain a lot- If I didn't complain I would have nothing to say. So suck it up baby and get used it!

Things that make me really annoying

• I always interrupt - It never fails. I will be having a civil conversation with someone and I will completley cut them off while they are in the middle of a sentence. I'm aware of it enough that I'll catch myself and then let them continue, or at least when I finish my rant I will look at them and say "Sorry, I interupted you....you were saying?" But for some reason I not aware of it enough that I stop actually doing it

• Lack of eyecontact - I ofter don't make eye contact when I am talking to somebody. It's not that I'm not listening or that I find the conversation boring, I just don't always look you in the eye. I even sometimes look behind you and past you, and it looks like I am looking for something. I'm not really. I just look around when I talk. I don't know why I just do.

• I'm messy - I am a very messy girl. This one annoys my mother more than anything. My room is a disaster area. It looks like the laundry room vomited all over my bedroom floor. Though you have to understand that I spend next to no time in my room. Really it is only a place where my clothes is and where I go to sleep. I can live in this mess basically because I don't live all that much in it. Though I am going to have to get over this one. Soon than later I will in my own appartment that probably won't be that much bigger than my bedroom, so keeping it clean will have to happen.

• I can't spell - kinda. Most of my spelling errors that you would see are infact just typos. I just don't bother going over what I've wrote to correct any mistakes. However I will admit that I am not the best speller. Problem is that I learnt french language way before I learnt the English language, so I never really got to master English. My spelling and grammer are not great. I'm also lazy (see below) so with stuff like this I really don't care all that much.

• I'm lazy- I mean I'm really lazy. I'm not sure if everyone is aware of this ( though I know the family and the boyfriend are well versed in my laziness). This is another reason I am so messy : I'm too lazy to clean up. I will eventually, but not right away. When it comes to important things I'm not that lazy, but I actually really enjoy not doing anything sometimes.

• I'm often late - This is usually a byproduct of my laziness. It is not uncommon for me to be half an hour to an hour late for things. If it is reallt informal sometimes I'm like 4 hours late. Jon has come up with the nickname "late-lin" and this summer the little girl I babysat called me "wait-lin".Though this is something I really try to change. I always make sure I'm not late for work or school. You know the really important things.

• I can't control my hicups and such - You have all heard it. My one (yes only one) giant hic-up that sound like the mating call of the tradactyle. They are very loud and seem to come from no where. I'm not sure exactly what they are, but all I know is that I have no control over them whatsoever. Also I burp. A lot. Again I can't seem to really help it and I don't know there coming (hence why I don't try and cover them up). Maybe it's some rare form of terets or something. *shrug*

Well there you go. I'm sure there are a lot more. You may ask why I decided to make this list. Primary reason was to avoid working on my thesis. Also I decided that I didnt want to be too vain and make a list of all the reasons I am great. Hopefully it will allow you all to acknowledge my faults and love me despite them. Hopefully it won't back fire and you all say "You know what? I never noticed that but she's right. She does do that all the time. God that is annoying. Why do I still hang out with her. I have some serious thinking to do about all this"

I just got back from a meeting with my supervisor and she has made me feel so much better. If some of you haven't noticed, I'm a little stressed out. Well she made everything seem so much...easier.

I swear to god she has to be the nicest person I have ever met (or at least tied with Miss Jenny Cooper). She has a way of say all the right words at the right time. She is very good at turning it all around. She makes me feel smart and well...competent.

I was actually embarassed of the crap of a draft I was going to give her, but she was able to turn it around and make it a stepping stone to something fabulous.

God I love that women!

I'm in a good mood. Hopefully it will only continue into the evening.

Less than two weeks. Fuck
Less than three weeks. Fuck
Less than four weeks. Fuck

I have to go to the library sometime tomorrow and get books out on Pedophiles and Beethoven.

Well at least that was the last time I had to see the show. Spent the night going through it all in my head so I didnt have to listen to the play.

I only have one class tomorrow, but I'm going to be at school ALL day. make sure I have fun tomorrow night okay? I mean it.

I'm doing it again. I'm being self destructive.
I thought I was over this.

I have to hand in a draft tomorrow. I have to, I have no choice. But I'm no where done (though I have been working on it all week). Can you say frustration.

I have other stuff to do this weekend. I can't be doing this.

Buckle up, and buckle down.

Are we going to GeekBeer tomorrow? If not, lets still do something okay. I'm really happy with anything as long as it is something.

"MacGyver hopped up on methamphetamines wouldn't be more quick-witted."
-- Mike Ward, RICHMOND.COM

I'm going to go see the incredibles tonight.
Yay for kiddie movies.

Every year for the last 4 years or so I go an see a movie for my birthday. Usually it is a kiddie movie. See I have the benifit of having my birthday exactly one month from christmas (christmas eve really) so kids movies, and I mean good kids movies..those ones that can appeal to adults too, come out just around my b-day. I've seen The Grinch, Monsters Inc...ummm there is another one...I forget now.

Pixar in general makes pretty damn good movies. They are funny and appealing.

Well I'm glad I'm see a movie. I haven't seen one since Garden state, and Anchor Man before that (I love lamp). I'd rather see a movie in theatres than at home. I enjoy the experience more.

Unless it is a depressing movie. Those I would rather be at home. When I go out I am usually going out to have a good time, not cry my eyes out.

So yay for movies.

What was No.1 when you were born?

hehehe...Mine is Uptown girl! That's so me!

Holy fuck?





Holy fuck

Formal bowling in moncton....no wait Kareoke formal bowling in moncton!

Today was fairly good. It seems that my hard work is paying off. I got back my mark from my seminar that was worth 40% of my clinical course and I got a 93% overall. Well damn! I guess pedophiles are good for something. Now I just have to write a 15-20 page paper on them and I'm set.

I also got my haircut. I love getting my hair cut, chopping off all my hair. I feel fresh and new again.

On a side note I have to stop looking for a deeper meaning in everything. Sometimes stuff is just...well stuff.

Let's do something super fun this weekend. I'm still looking for that "god damn this is fun" kind of time. This previous weekend was more like "god damn this is hell, fucking hell" kind of time. I think I'm looking from stepping away from that.

You and I
Not so little you and I anymore
And with this silence brings a moral story
More importantly evolving
Than the glory of a boy
-Jason Mraz, You and I both (live not studio)

There are things I want to tell you but I don't know how you'll take them.
Just breath. Look at the big picture. I promise that there is one. I promise.

We talked about in class this week that situations don't determine our emotions, but our emotions determine how important with think a situation is. Our emotions are there to tell us what is important. we feel happiness to show ourselves that this is what we want. We cry to show ourselves that we have lost something important.

I'm there, she's there and I'm sure others are too. All for different reasons, but we are all there.

It will change. It will. I promise.

there will never be one chance. You make your own chances, I believe it truly I do.

There are things I want to tell you, I hope you already know.

I got greedy. I've ruined it all.

The soup to cracker ratio was perfect, but I got greedy and added that one last packet of crackers and now it has all gone to hell.

The culinary gods are looking down on me today.

Well my leg is getting better. I'm not limping anymore and it's just a little tender, so I'm pretty sure I only pulled a muscle. Thank god. However it seems now that my right ear is pluged somewho. It's been like this for about 4 hours now. Not fun.

I've got my paper started finally. I'm not where I should be with my work, but I'm definatly further than I was yesterday and that is always a plus.

One month. exaclt one month. yikes! but yay.

my birthday is soon, just a little more than 2 weeks. I think I'm going to make the Snow Ball my psudeo birthday celebration. I mean I'll get to have a nice dinner, hang out with friends and dress up uber sexy. I think I'm going to wear my little black dress, or as Kelly likes to call it my "boob" dress.

Yay for boobs!

Let's go see a movie. I haven't seen a movie in theatres since august. Comon! anyone!

My weekend was overall horrible. I felt like crap, I looked like crap, and I wrote crap. But I got to talk to kelly and she actually made things feel a lot better. Sometimes you feel that you can't let anyone in, that you have to bare it all on your own shoulders. Well we have always leaned on one another and I think I just needed reminding of that. Thanks darling. Talking to you made it all seem so...transient.

I just have to keep writting.....and get my hearing back in my right ear. That would be nice too.

"give it a two or three days and if it still hurts than get an xray done to see if it's fractured"

Great. Fucking great. That's just what I need right now.
What a stupid fucking idiot I would be.

I'm going to get a shower, go to sobeys for 15 minutes and then I'm not getting off my ass for two days to rest my leg and let it heal, and pray to god it is just a pulled muscle.

Geek beer was ...well like geek beer always is. Somehow I hurt my leg really badly and I have been limping since I got up this morning. I got to sing last night but I sucked. I can sing those songs really well but last night it just wasn't happening.

So much for turning down the suck.

This weekend...well this weekend is not going to be fun at all.but it has to be done. once school is done this semester I'm just going to pretend I'm a whole different person for an entire month. I'll be happy and have fun and I'll pretend that I know I know what I'm doing.

Everything is too cryptic to be of any help at all.

I'm being banished to the basement tonight because mom and dad are having a dinner party. I'm going to sit and watch TV, try and write a draft for my paper and eat curly fries and ice cream. Not togther. French fries don't go with ice cream. Only cheese cake.

I need to start applying to school soon. I have this uneasy feeling that I'm not going to get in this year, or if I do it will be far away. I don't want to go far away. Then I have a year, a year where I won't be doing what I want to do, where I will be wandering. That's not in me.

If I just knew it would make things so much easier.

I had to watch the play last night at work. They moved me from tending bar to inside the house because I have seen the play the least of the whole staff. It's a good play. I mean that. but man is it ever hard to watch it more than one time. It's an hour and 45 minutes without intermission, and it's a one women play. The first time you see it its pretty fucking amazing. You have this one person playing about 20 different roles, and she makes each role distinct, they all seem like they are different people. You seem to forget that she is the only one on stage. You don't know what's ging to happen so you are on the edge of your seat.

But I knew what was going to happen. It's not a show you can watch more than once. I actually fell asleep for a little while at the back of the theatre. I actually had my head in my lap and I was asleep.

After awhile I had to wake up because patrons kept coming in and out of the theatre. It is very difficult to stay awake sometimes. So I just ignore what is going on around me and I went to day dream land. If I make up a little world to entertain myself I can stay up all night.

When I was younger I was such a day dreamer. Anytime I was alone, on the bus, walking home, laying in bed at night, I used to day dream. I would make up eleborate storylines and plots, making up stories that could happen to me. Sometimes they were farfetched but sometimes they were just simple, things that I would change in my every regular life if I could.

I still day dream. Not as much, but enough to classify me as a daydreamer.Now it is mostly imagining conversations that I don't have the guts to have in real life. I plan what I'm going to say, and how I will respond depending on their response. Most of the things go unsaid, but they are there just incase it ever comes up. I guess you could say i'm one of those people who thinks about what they are going to say before they actually say it.

I day dream about talking about the things that shou.ld and should never be said

Fuck. All of a sudden my entire arm, from shoulder to finger tips, is in incrediable mind-numbing pain. OW

I think I'm gonna give up trying to write now and start doing other work. 1 sentence in 2 hours is not a good sign.

I'm hiding trying to get some work done. Though I'm not very good at hiding, I left my hiding place when I saw Kathryn so that I could talk to her instead of doing my work. She is such a bad influence. But she is so much more interesting than alcohol prevalence rates in adolescents. Way more interesting.

I've become a pro at avoiding work. A pro! Though at least I am avoiding it by doing things that are fun. Last night was fun. We learnt 3/4 new songs. Singing and playing guitar for 2 hours straight. See that's so much more fun than writing my honours proposal.

This weekend has to be no fun what so ever for me. nope nope. work work. That's why people should come to geek beer. It's the only fun I'll be having for the whole weekend. Come and laugh with me. I'll sing you a song.

Things are odd, but fun.

I just slept from about 7:30 to 11:30 instead of doing my work. I have a Seminar due this tuesday that at the moment is poorly put together and a huge portion is still not done.

For some reason I don't seem to care all that much.

This week is essential. I have to get a lot done or at the end of the term you will find me hiddind under one of the tables in the CS lounge pulling my hair our strand by strand, going crazy from the stress of it all. If I can get a good start on half of my papers this week then I will be fine. Well maybe.

On a plus side, like no kids came to the house tongiht trick or treating (tops 6 kids) so we were left with a shit load of candy. Yay twizlers and smarties!

only a 5 weeks till I'm done. Exciting but very stressful. Then I get an entire month off to do as I wish. See friends, go out, dance, make some cash, shop, volunteer at the hospital, galavant around cape breton and most importantly relax.

After this tuesday I only have four 10 page papers due, 2 presentation, 1 take home exam and 2 final exams. All in the span of one month

Yippee